Waiting

Waiting for her blood sugar to come down.

Waiting for her blood sugar to come up.

Waiting for the school to call with her numbers.

Waiting for her to be ready for the next shot and to count to 3 so we can give the shot.

Waiting for her to prick her own finger 10 times a day.

Waiting for the bruises to heal.

Waiting for science.

Waiting for her A1c result.

Waiting for good news.

Waiting for Lab results

Waiting for prescriptions to be filled.

Waiting for technology to improve.

Waiting for restrictions to be lifted.

Waiting for people to understand.

Waiting for her to get older.

Waiting for it to get easier.

Waiting for sleep.

Waiting for it to occur to someone that it makes no sense to renew a prescription for medication she will need forever.

Waiting.

Waiting for the next stomach ache or headache.

Waiting for a breakthrough.

Waiting for a miracle.

Waiting for non-diabetes-related thoughts.

Waiting for a cure.

Waiting.

(Poem taken from Carey Potash's blog and adapted to fit our life)

We made it through our first sleepover.

Kailyn has not gone anywhere without us. Play dates are not possible because only people who are trained in how to give glucagone and treat diabetes can take her. Besides Seth and I that leaves us with Nanie and Grammie as the only two trained to do this. Up until now I have not wanted her more than a few feet from me or gone for a few hours. I tolerate her going to school because she has to go and I am starting to get confidence in the school again so I don't worry as much.
Kailyn has been begging for a month to have a sleepover at her Grammie and Grandpa's like she had done quite a few times pre-Diabetes and we finally agreed on a date. It was last night. She was feeling ok and her levels were somewhat ok last week. However, she was so excited yesterday her levels were all over the place. (and still are as of this am) She made it through the night after I went over and layed with her until she fell asleep at 10pm. It sounds like it was a success because they are now going on a nature walk and will be back in by 11 am.
Last night Seth and I got to go out to dinner for the first time since July. It was an early birthday present from his parents. Before July it had been Christmas time. We tried in April, but Seth got sick. We went to Margaritas and got to talk for a long time last night without any interruptions or Chaos going on. It felt weird, but it was nice. It reminded me that we don't talk very often, just live. Hopefully our life will become less chaotic as we get used to Diabetes and we will have more time for adult talk again.
We are waiting for Labs to come back that we had drawn on Wednesday. They are testing her for Celiacs, Thyroid among other things because she still has stomach aches and headaches. I am hoping it is just anxiety, but even if it is just that I need to zone in on that and get her feeling less anxious. She did better this week at school and made it through the whole week, but still has a way to go. She threw up one morning before school and had several stomach aches before school as well. We wish we could take school out of the equation, but Seth and I know we can't keep her in a bubble and she needs to learn how to deal with some anxiety. We are trying to control what we can in the mean time.
Which leads me to my last bit of info. My Mom is taking over the care of Kyleigh and Graham. I love them to pieces and will miss them very much (already do), but I need to concentrate on my kids and getting our lives in order. It was a hard job taking care of them before, but I was up to the challenge and loved doing it. However, I can't take care of my own kids needs and take care of them. The morning is chaotic with them all, I am on the phone 6 times a day with the nurse and I have to go to the doctor all the time with BOTH kids.(Sam is having his own issues). If I had any other job I would have had to quit immediately to care for Kailyn. Her and Sam are very demanding right now. Not that they were easy before, but triple time now. Hopefully within the next few months I can get my kids into a good groove, my house organized and overall get us to start to feel like a put together family again. But for right this minute, Grammie just called on her cell and I need to go down and let the kids in because Kailyn is Hypoglycemic for the second time today.

We have made it to school

for the second day in a row. Kailyn got to go to walk run for the first time because she met the recess duty teacher in charge and they put the procedure in place. She was hesitant to go on the playground at first, but I showed her all the adults and that she could tell any of them if she was dizzy and she finally went off. She has told me that she is too scared to tell adults she does not know that she is dizzy. I went and parked right next to the playground afterwards and the kids and I watched her until she went into school. (5 minutes) I wanted to see what happened because she has expressed a lot of anxiety about recess.(mommy stalker lol) She ran and found some friends right away and seemed to play happily with them. I could see the smiling. They are a bit bigger than she is (a full head taller)so they can run faster than her. I can see what she is talking about when she says she can't keep up, but she finds them again fast with a smile still on her face. Despite the anxiety she still really seems to enjoy school.
We are going to stop soccer and dance. Going to school is a feat for us right now. Her stomach pains at school were horrible last week and she barely ate while there. She had none on the weekend and ate like a champ. She does not like jazz because it is too hard or ballet because none of her friends are in the class. We are trying to alleviate any anxiety that we can control because there is a lot that we can't. All we can do is talk her through it and let her know that we are there for her.
Sam has made it to both schools so far this week too. We have a visual schedule that seems to help. He still said he did not want to go, but I had them call when he was ok and it took him all of 2 minutes to get settled yesterday and just a little tugging on me today.
Kyleigh, on the other hand, insists that we are staying at Sam's school. Takes her jacket off and then pouts when I put it back on. She begrudgingly goes down the stairs to the car. The teacher and I both tell her "next year".LOL

Sam was explaining how the leaves change

colors, fall off and then it snows to Kailyn today on the way to school. I explained this all to him one day on the way home from school recently. We look outside at the trees and talk about all the different colors we see now that it is fall. It is starting to get colder and I was explaining to Kailyn why she had to wear her fall fleece to school. I told her it would not be long before it snowed and it would be REALLY cold and went on to say that sometimes it snows in October. Sam piped in and said, "Kaiyn (he does not say the l) leaves change color, fall off, make a big mess, then snow"."Big trucks take snow off road". Proud Mommy moment :)

I said to Kyleigh as she climbed over the couch

to get to the coffee table. "What are you doing?" She replied, "Getting in trouble". She was going to get on top of the coffee table and dance. LOL Very Honest.

She also has an obsession with me washing her clothes. For the longest time she has taken her clothes off and put them on the stairs. I often put the kids clothing that has gotten dirty during the day on the stairs and bring it to the laundry room on the way up. Well, Kyleigh was doing that, but I kept putting it back on the table to go home. So, the other day she brought a pair of pants all the way up to my laundry room. I went and looked for them and found them in the laundry room and brought them back downstairs. She gets very annoyed with me when I do this. SO, the next time she hid her pants really well in the laundry room and I did not catch it before she left. I put the pants downstairs to go home the next day. Apparently she was going to make SURE that I washed these pants. VERY insistent. She hid them under Kailyn's bed. I found them while cleaning Kailyn's room this weekend. I finally gave in and the pants are in my dryer. LOL